If I had to describe 2010 I would have to say it was the year that Ann Perry “put her big girl panties on!” I have experienced a huge growth curve this year and judging by the size of my panties…I learned a lot!
As many of my close friends will remember, 2009 was my year of discontent. I was struggling with the empty nester syndrome as both of my beloved sons moved west within a month of each other. Here is a public thank you to all of you who held my hand in the produce aisle while I sobbed about having to buy a few potatoes instead of a 10 pound bag! And to those of you who silently dragged me away from the Hallmark Greeting Card displays. And to my friends who rescued me on a particularly needy day which just happened to be extremely hot and conducive to pina coladas pool side. Thank you just doesn’t seem to be enough! Yes, that was my summer of discontent.
By January 2010 I had licked my wounds and was getting on with my life. Hmm…no dirty laundry or dishes to pick up. No taxi service necessary. This wasn’t such a bad arrangement after all! And then as they always do, my youngest ran out of money and decided to come home. Home?? Here?? Ummm…okay.
So Ann, tell us what you learned that earned you the largest sized big girl panties you can buy? I learned a lesson that I think the universe has been trying to teach me for a very long time! Give up the control girlfriend! You never had it anyway! Phew. Does this mean I can finally stop shopping on the internet for the next sized pair of undies?!
If any of you have children of university age you can well appreciate the agony that one goes through as we “guide” our children into meaningful educational experiences. (That’s code for our empty bank accounts and numerous student loans!) So you’re a pretty smart bunch. You’ve already figured it out that maybe “guiding” is more like “controlling” and it’s our anxieties about our children’s futures that we are trying to “control”. I found out that if you just leave it alone…it will turn out fine in the end. Who knew?
I also learned that the job I was sure I wanted and was sure I had wasn’t the right job nor was it to be my job. Imagine that! Hadn’t I followed the rules about the law of attraction and having some control about the outcome in my life?
Here in lies the secret. I spent a lot of time reflecting on my present circumstances in my life. I considered what I wanted in my future and what my future would look like if I made some important changes. The first change was to give up the control I never had! I was born under the sign of Aries with the personality of the 8. We are control freaks. Guilty as charged. The universe should have considered dropping that number if they didn’t want the competition. We are control freaks end of statement.
So I stopped long enough to ask myself….”So Ann…how’s that control stuff work’n for ‘ya?” And you know I had to confess that I wasn’t a very happy camper with a lot of the decisions I had made under careful scrutiny and careful planning (code again for control!) of my future. And although I was quite happy with my Fruit of the Loom undies I bravely tossed them to the curve and traded them in for a pair of big girl panties! I simply put it on the line to my Angels, Guides and Teachers that I trusted them to put me wherever they felt was best for me. I took a dose of courage and I allowed them to drive for once. And considering I just spent the summer teaching my son how to drive I thought that was a reeeeally big girl move on my part! I began to realize that when I tried to control my destiny that I really was driving with the brakes on because what I thought I should have was not necessarily what I needed. Ultimately I was blocking the way for the Angels to deliver what was best for me and after all…wasn’t that what I’d been asking for? It was like taking my lottery ticket to the kiosk and having the girl run my numbers. “Congratulations Ann!!! You just won a million dollars!!!” And I just stand there and go “No, that’s ok…I’m good.”
I made a career change over the summer which better aligned me with my life’s passions. My stress level is at a minimum and I couldn’t be happier and all this because I chose to become a passenger instead of a driver for once. For once I gave up the control.
I also rethought my feelings around the “Secret”. The book left me feeling a bit drained honestly. I believe that the Secret focuses way too much on manifesting material wealth in our lives. The boats, the cars, the mansions. So what’s wrong with that you ask? Well, material wealth isn’t my focus on life. Health, balance, soul felt satisfaction…now that’s a focus I can live with. “Manifestation” is a powerful thing. I guess I have learned that I gain more satisfaction in my life when I simply trust that all I need is available to me in the perfect timing. All I need to do is give up the control, hand over the wheel and let someone else drive my bus for a while.
All of this I’ve always known but not until recently had I let it work within me. Let me assure you that you don’t have to have any special talents to lay it on the line with your Angelic guides and teachers. They are only too willing to help you. They’ve been waiting a long time to hear from you. Talk to them as if they were a friend. Release the control on your life you think you have. Ask them to take you shopping for some new big girl panties! You’ll be glad you did!
By Ann Perry
Driving With My Brakes On
